Tammuz embodies the inherent difficulty of bottling
inspiration. It comes right after the high point in the Jewish year, which is
Shavuot. There is no more significant event in Jewish history than what we refer
to as "Zman Matan Torateinu." When I was in yeshiva, I remember the tremendous
feeling that I got staying up to learn all night. It brought the whole year's
learning into proper spiritual context. But what do you do the day after Shavuot?
If the answer is that you sleep in, then you may understand the problem I'm
talking about.
The original Matan Torah lasted for almost a year, starting with Maamad Har
Sinai in Parshat Yitro, and lasting until the next journey in Parshat Behaalotkha.
Until that time they were learning the new commandments while encamped in the
place they had received them: Yeshivat Har Sinai. The inspiration of such learning
must have been something we only feel a pale reflection of, when we learn through
the night on Shavuot. Yet it is exactly when they took their first "bein hazmanim,"
immediately after this Sinai experience, that things fell apart, leading shortly
to all the disasters we encounter in Sefer Bemidbar. A very strange statement
in the Gemara may give us greater insight into these events. In Shabbat 116a,
there is a discussion about why the narrative at the end of Chapter 10 in Bemidbar
is interrupted by seemingly disjointed verses that are, in turn, encircled by
backwards letter nuns. R. Shimon ben Gamliel explains that the interruption
is to separate between the two "puraniot," or failures.
There are two questions to ask. One is asked by the Gemara itself, "What is
the identity of the first failing?" It is quite unclear. The second question
- which the Gemara does not ask - is, "Where did R. Shimon ben Gamliel get such
a principle of separating between two failures, which should ostensibly have
wide application. In Sefer Bemidbar alone, we encounter one failure after another
with no separations in between. We then have to wonder why this principle is
applied only here.
A careful analysis of the Gemara's answer to the first question may give us
the answer to the second one as well. The Gemara answers that the first failing
was that the Jews left Har Hashem (even though they were commanded to do so).
R. Chama b'Rebbi Chanina explains that a careful reading reveals that this leaving
from Har Sinai coincided with a leaving away from G-d (shesaru mei'acharei Hashem).
In other words, they were so drained from the intense spiritual experience that
they saw their first journey as something of a vacation.
The Jews were meant to move on, as we all are at some point. The question is,
how do you take your leave? The greater the inspiration, the harder it is to
integrate it into our travels, into our mundane lives. Whatever mitzvot or Torah
study one is involved with outside the yeshiva, it pales in comparison to that
which we experienced in the "yeshiva bubble." As such, it is natural to feel
emptiness and discouragement. When R. Shimon ben Gamliel invokes his principle
only here, he is saying that only a failure of great magnitude deserves being
separated out from all the other failures: The natural inability to integrate
inspirational experiences into our normal lives is at the root of all the other
failures and is therefore a failure of the greatest magnitude. Instead of finding
strategies to take it with us, we prefer to simply take a "vacation".
As Rabbi Jonathan Sacks pointed out recently, Jewish time is both cyclical and
linear. After the highlight of Shavuot, the natural tendency is to get tired,
which leads into the depression of how low we have fallen in Tammuz and Av,
setting up the period for Teshuva in Elul and Tishrei. This is the regular cycle
of the year. Jewish time, however, is also linear, in the sense that it leads
to a messianic age. The kink with which we have to deal, is what to do after
the climax that we encounter each year in Sivan. When we can avoid the natural
pitfalls of Tammuz, we can change the nature of the "moed" in Av. Thus, we have
a tradition that the Mashiach will be born on Tisha b'Av.
A true desire to bring on the messianic age requires us to work hard on maintaining
our enthusiasm, even when it is not natural. That means we cannot take a "vacation,"
even when we are on vacation.
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Copyright 2003 Darche
Noam Institutions
