Middot & Character Development
Joy | Lovingkindness
| Humility | Sefirat
Haomer | Torah
| Methods
|
Anxiety |
Anger
| Guilt
Middot – character traits
– are at the core of our moral and religious life.
As the Vilna Gaon writes, “For it is your life: For a person
is alive only in order to break a [negative] character trait that he
has not broken until now. Therefore one should always strengthen one’s
self; for if he does not strengthen himself, why is he alive?” And as
the Baal Shem Tov also said, quoting Rav Saadia Gaon, “For the
main purpose of man’s creation in this world is to break his bad character
traits." Improving our character means making ourselves more G-dlike
– closer to G-d – while at the same time enriching our relationships.
(This series was prepared by Rabbi Eliezer Kwass)
The Centrality of Character in Judaism
-- The statements
“Good character is a central value” and “Good
character is the central value in Judaism”
might not be exaggerations. A number of sources pointing
in that direction. . . .
Simcha
-- Joy
Joy
in Judaism -- The
first unit shows how central and indispensable joy
is to normal healthy Jewish life, and how high of
a priority it is in character development. . . .
Joy
in Chassidus
-- The Chassidic world,
from the outset, placed a high emphasis on simcha.
This flows naturally from the whole thrust of the
movement. The Baal Shern Tov decried excessive personally
imposed suffering and fasting as a path to piety .
. .
Joy in
Marriage -- Joy finds its heights in marriage,
and joy, so important for all human interactions,
is crucial in marriage. The following sources range
from the halakhic to the mystical to the practical.
. . .
5 Paths
to Joy -- We now turn to a very practical
question, how does one cultivate joy? The Nesivos
Shalom’s presentation focuses on areas we can work
on in order to create an inner environment that is
conducive to joy. . . .
Chesed
-- Lovingkindness
The Chesed Personality --
The Hebrew word “chesed” does not have a precise English
equivalent, but is probably closest to lovingkindness.
In the Jewish moral and mystical tradition, chesed
is associated with love, giving, altruism and spreading
forth.
The
Special Connection between Shabbat and Inviting Guests
-- There is something special about hachnasat
orchim, hosting guests, on Shabbat. Even people who
host infrequently during the other six days of the
week, often feel something is missing if they do not
have Shabbat guests at their table. . .
Rabbi
Moshe Leib Sassover's Love of G-d, Israel, and Torah
-- Rav Moshe Leib (yahrzeit 4 Shevat, 5567 - 1807),
excelled in love of G-d, Israel, and Torah, exemplifying
the ideal of the Baal Shem Tov, as expressed in the
following anecdote.
Love of Israel and Love
of Torah -- Even
the Ziknei Brod were impressed by Rav Moshe Leib's
Torah knowledge, and asked him what his secret is.
How did he get to be such a great talmid chakham?
He
answered with a story. . .
Love
of G-d and Love of Israel -- When there is
talk of bettering the Jewish people these days, two
issues seem to always come up -- Jewish unity and
Jewish spirituality. These translate (roughly) into
love of Israel and love of G-d. Perhaps the following
observations about the life of Rav Moshe Leib can
make a helpful contribution to the discussion. . .
.
Chesed
on the Internet --
The following links use the internet to facilitate
chesed and teach about it:...
Humility
Rabbi
Cordozo, the Vietnam Vets, and Developing Humility:
Rabbi Nathan Lopez Cordozo was in the hotel
lobby in a city where he was to lecture, and two men
approached him with the following problem. . . .
Bowing
in Prayer, 2 Anecdotes
Rav David Feinstein, zt"l and Rav Chaim of Tzanz,
zt"l
The
ideal of one’s total physical makeup being in tune
with the Divine Will is exhibited in the following
anecdote (heard from Rav Michel Twerski shlit”a of
Milwaukee) about the great Chassidic leader Rav Chaim
of Tzanz: . . .
Straightening
Up After Bowing: Humility and Self-Esteem
Rabbi Abraham Twerski, MD makes a crucial point, very
relevant to our discussion of humility – that cultivating
self-esteem does not in any way contradict or diminish
from the traditional Jewish emphasis on humility.
. . .
Mordechai:
Another Kind of Tzaddik: Alongside
the Jewish romantic image of the humble tzaddik --
self-effacing, slightly bent-over, hidden, and devoted
to all -- is an alternate type of Jewish figure --
powerful, unbending, strong, and even stubborn. .
. .
Intelligence,
Wisdom, Torah and Humility: The
nature of the connection between humility and Torah
demands some elaboration. Being highly intelligent
and bright does not, unfortunately, preclude being
arrogant. . . .
Longing: Many of
the character traits (especially humility) are presented
in the sources in quite an extreme form. Often it
is difficult to connect with such an intense level
of self-negation, giving, self-control, and the like.
It is easy to be overcome by the gap between where
we are and where the ideal is. . . .
The
Omer and Character Building
Redirection and Sanctification:
Based on the Shem Mishmuel -- what the Omer barley
sacrifice teaches us about character development
Purification and Elevation:
Based on the Nesivos Shalom -- two sides to the Omer
period, the continuation of Pesach and the preparation
for Shavuot
From Matza to Chametz!:
Based on a talk by Hagaon Rav Shlomo Fisher, shlita
-- the religious significance of chametz
Changing
Character How can we become better people? A
collection of advice from the sources on how to change
character
Rabbi Abraham
Twerski, MD, on Changing Character
Links to Rabbi Twerski's articles on the web -- especially,
his view on AA's twelve step approach
Torah
and Character
Jewish
Study Habits:
Another Look at the 48 Ways
How
does character impact on Torah learning? What does
this teach us about the Torah and learning?
Methods
for Changing Character:
The
Power of Imagination Harnessing the power
of imagination for holiness -- beating the yetzer
hara at its own game, based on Rav Dessler's discussion
in Mikhtav M'Eliahu 4.
Directed
Imaging
Using imaging methods in avodat Hashem -- 6 examples.
Social Environment
The social environment's powerful influence on character,
yet there are those that thrive in a hostile moral
environment
Daily Learning and Introspection
It all comes down to daily learning and introspection
-- according to whom? why? how?
Diagnosing the Problem
Rav
Kalonymous Kalman of Piasetzna zt"l suggests that
the reason for our failure to change might be not
properly diagnosing our problem.
Step by Step Taking
small steps and changing little by little
Anxiety
Coping With Anxiety Parenting
expert Miriam Levi shares some practical advice on
how to minimize our anxiety during child-rearing.
Anger
Coping With Anger Parenting
expert Miriam Levi shares some practical advice on
how anger develops and how to deal with it.
Guilt
Coping With Guilt Parenting
expert Miriam Levi shares some practical advice on
how not to fall into destructive guilt during child-rearing.
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