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Alumnae

Midreshet Rachel v'Chaya alumnae:
Staying connectedat the 2002 alumni retreat in the US
with each other and with staff members. Strong friendships develop at Midreshet Rachel v'Chaya and last. Connections with staff members are long term; their educational role as a life-long one. To help keep up connections there are periodic alumni gatherings, including a yearly Melave Malka, alumni reunions in England and California. The Darche Noam office sends out a monthly Darche Noam Alumni Bulletin through email and maintains an Alumni Home Page on our website, including a Photo Gallery to keep up with simchas and alumni events.

Building Jewish families and communities
reunion of first MR class
Students learn the beauty of Jewish family life and the responsibility to contribute to the Jewish community. We teach the paramount importance of Jewish education, both in the classroom and through our faculty role models. A significant number of Midreshet Rachel v'Chaya alumnae also take on leadership roles in the Jewish community, contributing to synagogues, Jewish organizations, and working as Jewish educators.



The following letter paints a picture of the transformation from student to alumna.

Letter from an alumna
Dear Rabbi Shurin,
I rushed off to America without depositing a thank you note in your MR mailbox. I apologize. Here it is, via email.

Surprisingly, I grew at a much slower pace at Midreshet Rachel than I had expected. And really, learning wasn’t as intense as I had envisioned. Everyday, I came to school and I was just me — the person I had always been — and I happened to be learning Torah. As a result, I never once went into mental shock!

I ended up asking myself quite frequently — Why am I giving up so much to be here? My savings account will be gone by year’s end, I’ll have more debt, more fights with my parents, more trouble getting into the work world, more transitions and changes, more of everything!. What for? Nobody is making me stay. Yet every time I asked myself this question, I would think about the text I had learned that day or the chesed of my teachers and fellow classmates or I would consider the way the different ideas/philosophies expressed themselves in the world.

Rather than be told -- this is the right way or that is the right way, I often had to deduce it for myself based on the evidence provided. As a result of doing this personal research, I felt more empowered and accomplished in my religious journey. I was forced to be an active participant in my learning rather than a passive one.

The “ideal way” was rarely presented. Of course, this frustrated many of us. But what I realized is that given our current society and the individual backgrounds of balei teshuva, the “ideal way” is not always feasible. In fact, to be taught only the ideal end point can prove overwhelming. At one point (before Midreshet Rachel), I contracted what I referred to as the“Tzaddik complex.” In order to a be a true, observant Jew, loved by G-d, I was obliged to take on the whole Torah at once, give up everything related to my previous, non-religious life and become a full-fledged tzaddekus. When I realized the difficulty of this task, I became depressed and resentful and was no longer able to recognize my own strengths (because compared to a true Tzaddik, I wasn’t much).

I believe I was able to grow this year because I did not feel this pressure. I saw my past as a potential asset; I saw that striving for greatness is not a competitive sport, judged objectively. Instead, it is a very personal and subjective journey. While I realize that there are objective truths and ideals, it is my own process sometimes that matters most. In addition to this revelation, I also gained the skills to better understand Torah discussions and the ability to listen to lectures with a more discriminating ear. My questions, as a result, (I think) improved and the answers in return became more complex.

But perhaps the most important thing I learned from you is that spiritual growth rests in my own hands. I discovered that many of my issues with Judaism have nothing at all to do with Judaism; rather they derive from flaws in myself. I recognize now how essential learning mussar and improving oneself is to growth in mitzvot and coming closer to G-d. For me, this was an important revelation.

I regret that I didn’t “nudge” you more this year with questions. Maybe, subconsciously, I wasn’t yet ready to be bound to your answers. I now feel that nudging a Rabbi is the only way I’m going to grow further. (Hopefully, I’ll find someone here and will only bother you once in awhile!)

Thank you R’ Shurin for giving so much of yourself to us (students) and for giving me a clearer perspective on Judaism. I feel stronger and more passionate about Judaism than ever before (despite the lack of “song and dance!”). And while I’m a little depressed to be back, I feel sufficiently equipped to deal with the challenges of life in America (at least until I return to Israel!).

Thanks for everything.

With gratitude,
Tara Knel
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